heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
