I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
