i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
