yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
