He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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