lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
