im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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