yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
