Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
