the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Don't make out with my wife yet
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
