Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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