I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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