You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
