So many bounce houses so little time
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
