What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How's work?
Spinning.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
