I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
