Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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