You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think i have two assholes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
