I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
