man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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