i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize