also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
