D3 body, D1 cock
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
