Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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