i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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