WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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