Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize