I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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