I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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