dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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