his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
