Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
