so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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