Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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