3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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