When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
