Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
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Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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