I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
