I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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