He told me they were just razor bumps!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
