I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
