I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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