i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
