I bet he comes in French.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize