There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
