Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
