I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
