Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
