I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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