Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
