I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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