You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
