hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
