Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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