If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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