Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
