hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
