Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
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I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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